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10/04/2006: "Books"

Recently I've read a couple of books that really had a big impact on me, one was "Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model" by RC Schwartz . Dr Schwartz has documented a really innovative way of modeling how a persons' mind/personality works based on looking at every person as a collection of "personalities" or "parts" plus a core identity the "self." The parts are personalities that live inside us and interact with each other and the "self" in a systemic way like a family. Each part has a role and a job and can be identified and interacted with. One of the great things is that it breaks out of a lot of the paradoxes of normal monolithic psychology like "if this person loves me, why are they being hurtful towards me" and allows an explanation that can lead to negotiated solutions. The focus is in achieving a state where the self is the leader and is trusted by the parts and each part has a satisfying and balanced role in the system. It has really changed the way that I look at other people and how I look at myself. The book describes the model and the process of therapy that is based on it.

The second book was Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen , Roger Fisher. This book looks at conversations and negotiations and provides a model producing better outcomes for everyone involved. I had found myself in more and more situations in work where I was trying negotiate with someone or come to an agreement where the situation turned out very polarized and I was at a loss as to exactly why. This book provided a model and a process that I was able to immediately start using and getting better results and to understand my contribution to the problem and change it.